Let me teach you how to commit suicide.
First, this is not an immediate action.
Suicide in itself is like shouting on top of a mountain.
You start from a place.
First, pick up a note or find a wall.
Remember how you buried your fingers into the body of your promiscuous partner on love cold nights.
Write with a broken bottle and make sure the bottle cut your hand.
Smile and watch which is more important.
The stained blur words on the wall or the tears of your vein.
Before you close your eyes, know this. Someone might find you and always remember. So cancel the words or chew the paper.
When you wake up, say to yourself. I even suck at ending my own misery.
It will take some moment before you could find another chance.
Next time is like the prophecy of Jesus coming.
So get multiple colours sticky notes.
Write those words with your best pen.
them in a good or on
they will cry, they should love your colors.
So when the second chance comes.
It will be like the news of your great grand leaving their graves to visit you.
Don’t panic, just find a dark room.
Walk into your tub and fill it with water.
Let no one know that you are inside.
That way you will find your death easily.
So, take a bottle of cognac and if you are my type become a vegetarian. Enjoy some weed of life.
Lower yourself, and try to stay under the water till you hear the noise of silence.
But I know you will fail at this, even Judas can’t pass this test.
So hold death in the neck and let it go down the sewer.
This time asks you.
what am I even good at?
What such demons have blessed me with times I don’t need?
Knowing you failed. You will need more air.
So walk the streets, and think about the speed cars and train or knife.
Stand on the bridge and wonder how deep it is, and also survey, to know how noticeable it would be when you jump.
By now, you would have been admitted to a school. So you won’t have the time to walk the street.
Are you like me?
In a place, no one care about the state of your head. Then you should walk the street.
Maybe the trees, water, birds and people can do to you what school will do to others.
But walk the street or within the school.
Find something strong, enough to hold your weight.
Chances are like forecasting which of your hair will fall next.
So the third chance might meet you on the road or just anywhere.
This time you might rush into a car like it needs a warm hug.
Or jump into troubled water like it is the belly of peace.
Or stand in the way of a train.
Whichever option you took; don’t for once let the noise distract you.
This is how far I have gone with trying to commit suicide.
I learnt this by working my body.
And that was 10 years ago.
Now you wonder why I haven’t tried recently.
Not that I lost the interest, but I realize I will only become a cheat.
If my soul is weak, and my body is a worn-out building and when the mind is nothing but a lost horse in a war front.
I stopped running.
Even though I can take a quick way out, I heard that staying till the end is worth it at times.
So I took a foldable chair and relax.